SCRIBES OF ANGEL

FanFic

________________________________

Title: Cure for Love
Author name: Jacob M. Bosch
Author Email: killnotic@yahoo.com 
Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, Sandollar, and David
Greenwalt Productions, 20th Century Fox, and whoever
else may have a hold upon them. The situation is
wholly mine, and I do not mean to infringe upon any
copyrights. I borrowed them. I intend on giving them
back, but not before I have my fun. Don’t sue me.
Nobody’s paying me to write this… and I really need
the cash, too…
 
Summary: A spell cast on Angel causes some problems
for Xander.
 
Couples: X/Angel, B/Angel
 
Category: Drama
 
Spoilers: Quasi-season 2.
 
Rating PG-13—kinda slashy.
 
Author's comments: This fic is inspired by another
story written by saone called A Dream is a Wish Your
Demon Makes - a series, which can be found here:
http://www.geocities.com/saone/ax/ax.html. Permission
was given to post this story.
 
.
 
Distribution: Why certainly. Take and be merry.
 
Author's Homepage URL: Huh. I wish.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Cure for Love
 
 
 
 
 
Xander pushed through the Library’s doors, and calmly,
purposely, walked over to the book cage.
 
Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg sat side by side at
the largest reading table in the Library. A half dozen
texts lie open in front of the two girls’, as they
carefully scanned through the books in their hands.
Buffy and Willow were in full research mode. And
they’d been that way for the last few months. Rupert
Giles, Sunnydale High’s Librarian, stood behind the
checkout counter several feet away from the Library’s
entrance cataloging a batch of new reference books
delivered earlier that day.
 
All three looked up from their activities and followed
Xander’s progression with their eyes.
 
Willow Rosenberg looked on her oldest friend with
pity. She couldn’t begin to imagine the amount of
craziness Xander endured over the past three months.
But she did know Xander was to the point now where he
stopped going out at night and stayed barricaded in
his house.
 
If it weren’t for school, Willow doubted she’d see
Xander at all.
 
Willow also knew it was only a matter of time before
he cracked under the pressure. Which is why she wasn’t
all that surprised by his next words. Just adamant he
shouldn’t go through with what he planned.
 
Buffy's face was a battleground of expressions,
warring between wariness and anger. She knew it wasn’t
fair to blame Xander, but there it was. Or maybe it
was just the situation she hated? At first when it all
started, Buffy remembered laughing herself silly, but
over the weeks it became less and less amusing. She
wanted to help Xander through this, but it was hard to
get past her own hurt.
 
Giles watched the young man with an interest not
unlike scientific curiosity. Perhaps a smattering of
concern, but mostly it was inquisitiveness. To say it
amazed Giles that the young man had managed for so
long without going mad was an understatement. He often
wondered if he could have dealt with Xander’s
predicament half as well.
 
"Xander, what are you doing in there?" Giles asked
when the boy went straight for the weapons cabinet
inside the book cage.
 
Xander opened the armoire and began selecting weapons.
First, he pulled out an unsheathed Dagesse short
sword, then a vial of holy water, which he stuffed
into the front pocket of his baggy denim pants. And
finally he removed two wooden stakes and slid them
into the waistband of his pants behind his back.
 
"Xander, where are you going with all those weapons?"
Willow called out to the young man, her voice
teetering on panic.
 
Xander had taken off his jacket and wrapped it around
the sword and tucked it under his left arm, then he
closed the cabinet and started out of the cage. Willow
didn’t know what was scaring her more: Xander’s arming
himself for a siege, or the serene demeanor that
comprised his appearance.
 
"Xander!" Both Willow and Buffy shouted jumping to
their feet when it looked like Xander was going to
leave the Library without answering them.
 
Xander stopped and turned to them and said, "Oh, I’m
just gonna go kill Angel."
 
"Xander, you can’t!" Willow exclaimed.
 
Xander smiled, "Can, will, gonna. See I’ve given this
a lot of thought, and I don’t see any other way out.
Angel has to go poof!"
 
"Xander, we all know this has been increasingly
difficult on you, but--" Giles began.
 
"Difficult? Difficult he says! You don’t know the half
of it! Do you know what that lunatic did last night?"
Xander pointed back at the Library doors as if Angel
were standing behind them, "Angel came to my house,
stood outside my window and serenaded me! It was two
o’ clock in the morning and he sang, or tried to sing,
‘Are You Strong Enough to Be My Man?’ He has to die!"
 
No one said anything for a moment as they all pictured
the event Xander described in their minds.
 
It was Willow who recovered first, "Xander, we’re
still searching for the spell that’s going to
reverse--"
 
"We’ve been looking for three months and nothing,
nada, zippo!" Xander interrupted, "No more magic, I
got the perfect solution right here," Xander tapped
the camouflaged sword under his arm, smiling. There
was something slightly manic to his grin, causing
Willow and Giles to exchange worried glances.
 
Buffy inched her way closer to Xander, "Xand, listen,
I know this thing with Angel sucks, but it’s really
not his fault it’s happening," Buffy was standing
right in front of Xander now. She was smiling at him,
she hoped, reassuringly. "Angel can’t help how he
feels."
 
Xander’s face fell away from his grin so fast Buffy
took an unconscious step backwards. She never thought
a human being could possess such a cold expression.
 
"Sounds like a personal problem to me," he said.
 
Giles cleared his throat and stepped from around the
Library’s checkout desk. "Buffy is right, Xander.
Angel is an innocent--" Xander snorted, "--bystander.
It wouldn’t be right to, ah, kill him for actions he
has no control over just to make your life more
comfortable."
 
Xander, his face turn down and a little to the side,
seemed to think over Giles words, then before even
Buffy could react, the boy turned and shot out of the
Library.
 
"Damn!" Buffy said launching after him.
 
"Xander!" Willow moved to follow behind Buffy.
 
"Willow, wait!" Giles stopped her, "Buffy can handle
Xander for the time being, we need to find that
reversal spell!"
 
Willow found it hard to not alternate her attention
between Giles and the still swinging Library doors.
 
"Giles what are we going to find tonight that we
haven’t been able to find for the past three months?"
 
"I haven’t a clue," Giles conceded snatching his
glasses from his face and brutally rubbed his fingers
and palms of his other hand over his eyes. "Though I
loath to admit it, I’m very much hoping we might
strike upon something by luck."
 
Willow shot one last glance at the doors before
following behind Giles up into the stacks.
 
"Yeah, because luck is in such good supply on the
Hellmouth."
 
 
 
 
 
If Xander could’ve avoided going to the Library he
would have. But he didn’t have any hard-core weapons
at his place. And in all likelihood Angel wasn’t going
to stand there and take it like a man when Xander
tried to give him a deep chest massage with a stake.
 
No matter how—gah—in love he was.
 
Xander was already speeding from the students’ parking
lot when Buffy made it out of the school. He’d left
the cars motor running and the doors unlocked—because
it really helps in these situations if you’re
prepared. That’s why he borrowed his dad’s car in the
first place. Actually, stealing was a more apt
description, but Xander needed wheels. He was a fast
runner, but not fast enough to outrun a slayer on a
mission.
 
Case in point.
 
Xander saw Buffy running after the car in the rearview
mirror, and was keeping up pretty good until Xander
revved the car up to fifty miles per hour and left her
in his dust. Well, what did she expect? Sure she
looked hot in those knee-high boots and mini skirt,
but not really stuff you wanted to wear while chasing
down a motor vehicle. Nodding with satisfaction,
Xander settled back in the driver’s seat and slowed
down to the legal speed limit. No use getting pulled
over, he was on borrowed time as it was.
 
Cruising down Credence Avenue Xander felt the
ever-present tension in his neck begin to ebb. Even
his stomach felt a little calmer, except for the
flutteryness that came with anticipation. Three months
of looking over his shoulder and avoiding secluded
places—and public places for that matter—at night,
would finally be behind him. And the answer to his
problem had been so simple. Xander could slap himself
for not thinking of this sooner.
 
Xander parked right in front of Angel’s apartment
door, killed the engine, and then grabbed the bandaged
sword lying on the passenger seat.
 
As he got out of the car, Xander un-wrapped the sword
and tossed his jacket back onto the seat. Angel’s
apartment building was in a seedy part of town, so a
guy walking around with a big ass shiny sword probably
wasn’t a crazy sight. But when he walked up to Angel’s
front door, Xander hid the sword behind his back
before he knocked.
 
It was three hours before sundown, and Angel should be
home. Although Xander really didn’t know the vampire’s
habits other then his penchant to follow Buffy around
and give her ominous warnings. And lately, Angel
didn’t stalk Buffy anymore, and he only warned her of
trouble in Sunnydale through Giles these days.
 
After a few seconds Xander heard a muffled response
that could have been a ‘who is it?’ from behind the
door.
 
"Me."
 
An instant later the door opened into a dimly
illuminated space. Angel was standing several feet
away from the doorway, out of reach of the afternoon
light. He stared at Xander with wonder, like he
couldn’t believe what he was seeing. And for a second,
Xander saw that innocence Giles harped on in the
Library shimmering through Angel’s eyes.
 
"My love," Angel whispered. With those words any
doubts Xander might have had disappeared. Xander came
into the apartment swinging.
 
Angel ducked under Xander’s first wild swing at his
neck. Xander swung again and completely lost control
of the arch and the short sword bit into the
doorframe, jarring his arms with teeth rattling force.
Xander almost dropped the sword but managed to keep a
weak one-handed grip with his right hand.
 
Xander jerked the Dagesse from the wood and cursed
when he saw that Angel had retreated further into the
apartment.
 
"Xander, why are you trying to get me with that
sword?" Angel asked backing away over the stone
platform leading towards the bedroom area.
 
"Never mind," Xander replied, stalking after the
vampire," could you stand still for a second?"
 
"Will you try and cut me if I do?"
 
"I won’t cut you."
 
Angel pointed at the sword, "Could you put the sword
down?"
 
"No, I need it to lop your head off."
 
"But… but I love you!"
 
"Shut uhuuup!"
 
Angel stopped moving and placed his hand against his
chest. "I don’t understand. How can you kill me for
loving you?"
 
"Because you won’t leave me alone, you moron!"
 
"I can’t help it. I need you."
 
"No you don’t! You’re under a stupid, life wrecking
spell, genius!"
 
Angel shook his head violently, "No, my love is pure
and true!"
 
"That’s it! Dead boy, get ready to meet your inner
dust bunny!"
 
Xander brought the sword up again, holding the Dagesse
like a batter and ran at Angel. This time his swing
was more conservative then the overextended swipe he’d
taken earlier. He aimed the blade at Angel’s
midsection, hoping for greater success with a larger
target then than the vampire’s neck. Angel leaped
backwards, avoiding the attack, but Xander was ready
for the vampire’s agility this time. He quickly lunged
forward and nearly whooped when one of the Dagesse’s
edges made contact with the left side of Angel’s
ribcage.
 
It was a glancing wound, but Xander didn’t even expect
to land that much on a forewarned Angel.
 
"You know, if you really loved me you’d obey my every
command and hold still," Xander said.
 
"Sorry, my love, but I have to put my foot down when
it comes to decapitation," was Angel’s amused reply.
 
Growling, Xander took another swipe at Angel with the
sword, "Don’t call me that!" and missed his quarry
completely.
 
"What would you prefer I called you? Shmoopie? Blood
muffin?"
 
Xander’s left eye began twitching, "Don’t you dare."
 
"Then I won’t. All I want to do is talk to you. Get to
know you. We haven’t said much to each other since
we—I—fell in love with you, Xander. You always run
from me."
 
Suddenly, Xander’s face sported a shy smile and
downcast puppy dog eyes.
 
"You’re right—I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m not use to
anyone showing me that kind of affection."
 
Angel smiled back at the young man, "I understand. And
don’t think I’m not proud to be the first to do so."
 
Xander lowered the sword to his side and looked down
at the floor, kicking the tip of his tennis shoes at
the surface of the floor.
 
"I’ve had people tell me that they loved me before,
Angel, but when it came right down to it they always
let me down."
 
Angel emitted a sound in his throat that was very
pitying, and he took a step closer to Xander,
extending his arms. "I won’t disappoint you, my love.
Never you," Angel said.
 
"I know you won’t," Xander said.
 
As Angel moved to close the distance separating them,
Xander brought the sword up and pushed the point into
Angel’s gut. And kept pushing until it came out
through the vampire’s back, his nostrils flaring as
the scent of blood tainted the air. The blade’s
journey took it through Angel’s backbone, pried apart
his vertebrae and sliced his spinal cord in two.
 
"Xander…"
 
Xander raised his head to find Angel’s dark brown
eyes, widened with shock, staring back at him.
Xander’s eyes were hazel pools of apathy as he twisted
the blade around, making sure he totally severed
Angel’s spine. Angel moaned as Xander withdrew the
Dagesse with one slow pull.
 
"Man, you’re a complete sucker when you’re in love,"
Xander said before the vampire dropped heavily to the
floor.
 
"Smarter then the average bear you are not. I mean…
come on!" Xander exclaimed, then his voice became
high-pitched, mimicking his earlier proclamation to
Angel. "‘I’ve never had anyone really care about me
like that before.’ For the love of God Angel, you
actually bought that crap? Hellooo! Willow, remember
her?"
 
Xander walked around Angel’s paralyzed body. He
maneuvered the sword over Angel and lined the bloodied
blade up with the vampire’s neck.
 
"Don’t worry," he said as he lifted the sword over his
head, "I’ll make it quick. Lickety-split."
 
 
 
 
 
Buffy was tired and sweaty and pissed off. And she was
all three because she let Xander dupe her. Xander, of
all people! She’d really thought they were getting
through to him, but instead ended up having to run all
the way from Sunnydale High to the apartment, praying
she wasn’t too late to save Angel—from Xander. Who
shouldn’t have been the slightest threat to the two
hundred and forty-ish vampire, but was probably the
biggest threat Angel had ever faced.
 
A wave of dread went through Buffy when she saw the
car Xander used to drive away from the school parked
in front Angel’s place, and that Angel’s door was
hanging wide open. Muting her footsteps against the
sidewalk, Buffy cautiously made her way up to the
doorway. Xander was already skittish and paranoid, so
barging in would only make matters worse.
 
She made out the voices of two guys. The voices were
speaking in subdued tones making Buffy’s uh-oh radar
go off. Xander and Angel talking to each other in a
calm, rational manner—okay, what wacky universe are we
in now?
 
Then Buffy heard a carrying "Thuck"; the kind of sound
flesh makes when it gets run through… with a sword.
 
Buffy rushed inside the apartment. The spare lighting
coming from behind the milky white skin of an oriental
screen near the door allowed her eyes to adapt quickly
and take in the scene inside the apartment. She was
already running when she screamed.
 
"Xander!"
 
Xander, sword raised overhead, stood over a man who
was lying on his back wearing a white tee shirt and
faded blue jeans—Angel. Her quasi-boyfriend held his
stomach together with both hands, blood pouring out
from under his fingers. The white shirt he wore made
the wound that much more shocking as blood stained the
material.
 
Angel’s eyes were glassy, and he gazed up at Xander
with hurt and such wanting…
 
Xander gave Buffy the briefest glance before he
started to bring the sword down. Buffy collided with
Xander before the blade came within mere inches of
Angel’s neck. They both went down in a tumble onto the
hardwood floor away from Angel.
 
Buffy grabbed a hold of Xander’s wrist and slammed his
hand into the floor. Grunting in pain, Xander lost his
hold on the handle. Buffy quickly scrabbled on top of
him and sat on his stomach.
 
She still had Xander’s arm pinned to the ground, while
her right forearm pressed firmly into Xander’s chest.
 
"I can’t believe you tried to do it!" Buffy screamed
down at Xander. "Well, actually, I can, but… still!"
 
"Buffy I know you’re jealous an everything, but I’m in
the middle of something here. If you wanna pick this
up some other time…"
 
"Xanderrr."
 
"Buffy it has to stop!"
 
"Not like this. Just give Giles a little more time to
find the counter spell."
 
"How long exactly? A day, a week?"
 
"Xander, come on!"
 
"Nope."
 
"Please?"
 
"Uh…"
 
"I love him, Xander. And this spell is hurting me just
as much as it’s hurting you. How do you think it makes
me feel to see and hear him proclaim his undying love
for you? It-it’s like my heart’s being stomped on
every time he does it!"
 
"Buff--"
 
"If you care anything about me Xander you’ll give us a
chance to make things right again. I know Angel was
never your favorite person, but he doesn’t deserve to
die like this under the influence of Spike and
Drusilla’s spell."
 
Xander really seemed to mull what she said over, but
Buffy didn’t relax her hold on him. Xander was way
trickier then she ever gave him credit for. After a
few tense moments of silence, Xander nodded.
 
"Okay, okay, I’ll hang in for a little while longer."
 
Buffy closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh of
relief. Slowly, Buffy released her pin and helped
Xander to his feet. Then she went over to Angel, whose
gut wound had yet to heal. Angel stared up at the
ceiling distraught. Buffy’s heart lurched when she saw
tears spilling from the corners of his eyes, she knew
they weren’t flowing because of his injury.
 
"Angel, are you going to be okay?" Buffy asked as she
knelt down beside him, inspecting the gaping hole in
his mid-section. Angel could survive such a wound, but
Buffy wasn’t sure if the blood loss wouldn’t kill him.
And judging by the amount soaked into the carpet under
him, Angel lost a great deal of blood.
 
Angel shook his head. "He hates me."
 
"You got that right, pal," Xander said behind her, and
Buffy threw a quick, but scathing glare at the boy
before turning back to Angel.
 
"No Angel, Xander doesn’t hate you," Buffy thrust her
hand out behind her and cut off any remark coming from
Xander, "He’s just… just wigged."
 
Angel seemed to really focus on her for the first
time, "Really?"
 
Buffy gently caressed the tears from Angel’s face with
the thumb of her right hand, "Really. Now we’re going
to take you back to the Library and get you patched
up."
 
"I-I don’t think I can make it that far," said Angel.
 
"We’ll take Xander’s car."
 
"What! Are you crazy? My dad’s already going to commit
infanticide because I took his car in the first place!
I don’t even want to think about what he’ll do if I
bring it back with blood all over the upholstery!"
 
 
 
 
 
Buffy’s voice carried into the Library a few moments
before she, Xander, and the injured vampire named
Angel entered the Library itself.
 
"You severed his spine!"
 
Xander’s voice, also raised, drifted through the
Library’s doors.
 
"If you can tell me another way to keep a fidgety
vampire from moving I’d love to hear it!"
 
Willow sat at the big reading table and Giles stood
beside her. A book lie open on the table in front of
Willow and neither let their gaze fall on the thick
leather bound text. Giles was polishing the glaze from
the lens of his glasses, and Willow found the
stitching in the hem of her skirt just so fascinating.
 
The doors swung open. Buffy and Angel walked in
together. Angel’s arm was around Buffy’s neck as she
half dragged his faintly smoking form into the room.
 
Angel had on a dark shirt that hung open, exposing his
pale torso. His blue jeans were still wet with blood,
and made the darkening fluid difficult to identify
visually. Buffy’s arm was around Angel’s waist, while
she pressed what used to be a white shirt against his
stomach.
 
Xander followed them in a second later.
 
"It’s okay, Xander," Angel said, "I made you do it."
 
From behind the blood-deficient vampire Xander shot
Angel a surprised glance, then looked away. "Shut up,
Angel."
 
Willow and Giles focused their attention past Buffy
and Angel and onto Xander.
 
"Giles we’re going to need the first aid chest," Buffy
said.
 
Giles looked at Buffy and Angel, only then noticing
the vampire’s injury, "Yes, of course."
 
Willow continued to gawk at Xander, her cheeks flushed
a deep red. Xander, too preoccupied with his
predicament, didn’t see her. He loped over to the
checkout counter turned and hoisted himself onto it,
he hunched his back and nervously kicked his heels
against the counter and stared at the floor.
 
Buffy carried Angel over to a chair and gently placed
him in it, a moment later Giles walked over with a
large wooden case, set it on the floor next to Buffy
who knelt in front of Angel.
 
As she began cleaning his wound with a strip of gauze,
Buffy consciously ignored the way Angel was looking
over her head to keep Xander in his sights. Very
little blood oozed from the four-inch gash in Angel’s
belly, so all Buffy needed to wipe away was a few
smears. Buffy then took out a needle and a spool of
surgical thread from the box.
 
"Angel, I’m going to close up this wound, okay? It’s
going to hurt."
 
Angel gave her the barest nod of acknowledgment still
watching Xander. Her eyes bright with unshed tears
Buffy set about stitching the wound. Her hands were
shaking until she willfully calmed her nerves.
 
After giving Buffy the medical kit, Giles looked over
at Xander and openly stared. And he would have kept
staring if Willow hadn’t softly cleared her throat
drawing his attention. Giles turned and saw the girl
tilt her head in Xander’s direction.
 
Giles hesitated, and Willow jerked her head more
forcefully, her long red hair falling from behind her
ears. Giles pleaded with the girl with his eyes and
Willow came right back at him with a ‘but you’re the
grown-up’ expression. Finally, Giles nodded. And
Willow, no longer anointed, very visibly relaxed in
her chair. Mouthing an "I’m sorry" before Giles walked
up to Xander.
 
"Xander, may I speak with you for a moment?"
 
"Giles if this is about your sword, I left it at
Angel’s place."
 
"Ah, yes, I’ll have Buffy retrieve the sword later--"
 
"Well, if you’re gonna scold me or something--"
 
"No. I… I need to discuss something in private."
 
Shrugging, Xander hopped off the counter and followed
Giles out of the Library. Giles lead them into an
empty classroom down the hall from the Library and
closed the classroom’s door behind Xander and himself.
Xander wandered over to a student's desk and sat on
top of it the same way he had the checkout counter:
inappropriately.
 
"So… what’s up, G-man?"
 
"Ah, Willow and I have found a way to negate the
enamor spell placed on Angel."
 
Xander stared at the other man for a long minute
before replying.
 
"Are you messing with me?"
 
"M-messing with you?"
 
"Because if you’re messing with me…"
 
"Xander, I assure you I am not… messing with you."
 
Giles yelped when he found himself suddenly enveloped
in the tight embrace of the teenager.
 
"Xander… please."
 
"Oh, sorry ‘bout that, Giles," Xander said pulling
away from the older man. "Stuffy British guy. No
hugging other men… very unbecoming… got it."
 
Xander didn’t look very chastised to Giles as he
excitedly rocked back and forth on his feet.
 
"I owe you one… no, two… you know what? Just name your
price! If ever you need your car washed, I’m your go
to guy. Need books shelved, call me Xan, Xan, the
shelvin’ man!"
 
Xander inhaled sharply and turned his head a little to
the side, "Or if you just need a shoulder to cry on,"
Xander raised right fist, lowered his head with his
eyes closed, "I’m there for you, Giles.
 
"And Wills! Wills, that little go-getter, she’s on the
top of my Christmas list, too! ‘Course she doesn’t
celebrate the birth of our lord and savior, to whom
I’m going get down on my knees every night and pray to
from now on, so okay, Hanukkah list it is! Just gotta’
dig deep into the ol’ piggy bank… besides what’s a few
bucks when it comes to the girl who helped save my
life?"
 
Ordinarily Giles would have tuned the boy out, or
rolled his eyes in exasperation, but instead the
Watcher remained solemn throughout Xander’s tangent.
 
"So tell me Giles, what’s the cure for love?"
 
"Well, you see Xander, the only way the spell can be
broken… is for you and Angel to-to engage in an
intimate act."
 
"Intimate act?"
 
"Ah, yes. More specifically, you and Angel must have…
full intercourse."
 
 
 
 
 
Buffy was nearly finished sewing up a now unconscious
Angel when she thought she heard a faint scream.
 
"Willow, did you hear something?"
 
"No."
 
Buffy listened for a few moments before deciding it
was probably her imagination, and went back to closing
Angel’s wound.
 
She didn’t notice how Willow stared at the Library
doors, chewing her bottom lip.
 
 
 
 
 
"I’ll just have to live with it. Yeah… yeah, that’s
what I’ll do! I mean Angel’s not going to bother me
anymore after today!"
 
"I don’t think you fully understand how the enamor
spell operates, Xander. Angel might try to avoid you,
but the nature of the spell makes it impossible for
him to stay away from you for any length of time. No
matter how he resists."
 
"So what am I supposed to do? Sleep with him?" Xander
yelled throwing up his hands.
 
"If the enchantment is to end, then yes."
 
"I can’t," Xander moaned, "I won’t!"
 
"Then you and Angel shall remain in this limbo for the
foreseeable future, and--"
 
"I blame you for this!"
 
Giles eyes widened, "What? Me?"
 
"Yeah, you! You and Buffy! When I signed on for this
gig I only agreed to help slay demons, research, and
get the occasional concussion! And I distinctly
remember not marking that little box listing
necrophilia as one of my hobbies!"
 
Appalled, Giles was tempted to remind Xander that both
he and Willow insinuated themselves into vampire
slaying against his vehement protests. But Xander was
just lashing out at the most convenient target. And
Angel was no where in sight.
 
"Xander--"
 
"I’m not done!" Xander exclaimed.
 
"You are done! And this spell is more dangerous then
you realize! The enamor spell was first used by
warring families in old Europe as a tool to promote
unity by be-spelling one male and one female from each
clan and marrying them off. Later, someone decided to
use the enamor as a hex of sorts against their enemies
family by inciting a father or a brother to desire a
female relative."
 
"Oh my god, that’s sick," Xander whispered.
 
"Yes. Leading to many brutal sexual assaults, and
ending the spell with tragic results."
 
"You mean Angel’s going to try an… and rape me? I’ll
kill him first!"
 
"The original spell was meant to work on humans so
there’s no telling what its long term effects will be
on Angel. He may never attack you," Giles said trying
to allay the boy’s fears.
 
But Xander wasn’t listening.
 
"Either I sleep with him willingly or someday Angel’ll
go mental and try and take me by force," Xander ran
his hands through his dark hair several times, talking
to himself. On the last run he grabbed the hair on the
back of his head and laughed. And it was anything but
humorous. "I’m screwed either way."
 
"Xander, no one will allow Angel to harm you."
 
"And your brilliant way of protecting me is to have me
bump uglies with the living challenged in there? Gee,
Giles, I wonder why I’m not very comforted by that?
How long?"
 
"How long?"
 
Xander lowered his arms and glared at the older man,
"How long before Angel goes all Chester the Molester
on me?"
 
"That is only one possible outcome--"
 
"How… Long?"
 
"The thresh hold for resistance ended a month ago."
 
 
 
 
 
"Where’s Xander?" Angel asked standing up from his
chair when Giles re-entered the Library alone. Not
even bothering to pretend he wasn’t bobbing and
weaving his head to look around the Watcher.
 
Before responding to the vampire’s question, Giles
made eye contact Willow and nodded. "Xander went
home."
 
"And you let him go… alone? It’s almost dark out!"
 
"Sundown’s two hours away, Angel," Buffy said.
 
"Did he… seem okay?" Willow asked.
 
"About as well as can be expected," was Giles’ careful
reply.
 
"I think I'll be going then," Angel announced and
furtively walked towards the Library doors.
 
Giles blocked the vampire’s path, "Angel I don’t
believe Xander would care to have you chasing after
him."
 
"I just want to keep him safe. He won’t even know I’m
around," Angel said.
 
"Xander is very upset and he wants you to leave him
alone."
 
Buffy put a hand on Angel’s arm. "Xander has his dad’s
car, remember? Besides, unless you wanna burst into
flames…"
 
"I already feel like every fiber of my being is on
fire, and only having Xander in my arms can quench the
flames devouring me."
 
"Oh, good lord," said Giles covering his forehead with
the palm of his right hand.
 
Buffy snatched her hand off Angel like she’d been
burned, and walked over to the table where Willow sat
staring at the vampire in disbelief. Buffy plunked
down in the chair beside her best friend dejectedly
and lowered her forehead to the tabletop then lifted
her head a little and brought it down again. "How
romantic," she said as Willow patted her on the back.
 
"Xander wants you keep your distance, Angel. And so do
I. Do I make myself clear?" Giles said, his outward
demeanor hardening.
 
"But--"
 
"Do I make myself clear?"
 
"Perfectly."
 
"Your word."
 
"I… can’t promise to stay away from him forever,
Giles." Angel confessed.
 
"And I don’t expect you to. Just give him a few days."
 
Angel nodded and left the Library with his head bowed
and shoulders slumped.
 
 
 
 
 
"Hello?"
 
"X-Xander?"
 
"Willow."
 
"I thought you might want to talk… about… I mean… How
are things?"
 
"I’m not going to do it."
 
"I understand."
 
"Why should I take one for the team just so Buffy can
have her honey back?"
 
"You’re right, it’s not fair."
 
"I will, I’ll kill him if it comes to that."
 
"If you have to."
 
"Buffy will just have to live without em’. We can’t
always get what we want, you know."
 
"That’s true."
 
"You don’t really think I should… sleep with him, do
you?"
 
"I don’t know, Xander."
 
"Because I don’t think I can. Not even to help Buffy.
I’ll have to kill him."
 
"Then Spike and Drusilla win. Angel dies and Buffy’s
going to be destroyed."
 
"That’s not my fault!"
 
"I’m not saying it is."
 
"What are you saying?"
 
"Just that… what does it really cost you to-to have
sex with Angel?"
 
"The answer’s in the question, Willow."
 
"I mean… you know what I mean! If we end up having to
kill Angel, Angel loses his life and Buffy loses
him--"
 
"And all I lose is my heterosexual male membership
card? No thanks, I’m not riding the Angel pony."
 
"Um… maybe he doesn’t have to… uh, you know, maybe you
could do that to him?"
 
Xander half grunted and half laughed, "Oh yeah, and
I’m sure when Angel gets his sanity back he won’t mind
that I took advantage of him. Besides, he doesn’t do a
thing for me."
 
"Oh… Oh! You’re right! It would be like you…"
 
"That’s right."
 
"Either way it’s all nonconsensual. Even if you let
him--"
 
"Play Sonny to my Cher?"
 
"--Angel still won’t like the fact that you two had
sex in any variation."
 
"And neither will Buffy. Then we’re agreed: I kill
Angel, nobody gets deflowered, and everybody’s happy…
almost."
 
"Actually…"
 
"What?"
 
"I already told Buffy about the counter--"
 
"You did what?"
 
"We couldn’t not tell her, Xander!"
 
"Ahh!"
 
"Buffy had a right to know!"
 
"Oh my god!"
 
"She says if it’s the only way to get Angel back--"
 
"Ahh!"
 
 
 
 
 
Buffy was in a very bad mood.
 
She caught the first vampire’s fist in the palm of her
hand then squeezed, crushing his knuckles to powder
before lashing out with her right leg and buried her
heel into his abdomen. The second vampire rushed her
from behind and Buffy quickly brought her foot away
from the first vamp’s stomach and kicked the second in
the chest. He went flying backwards, the sound of his
ribs breaking almost drowned out the vampire’s scream
of pain.
 
Buffy twisted the first vampire’s arm and flipped him
to the ground, staking him. Her hand closed around
dust as she made a fist and brought her arm up to
block the kick from a third vampire trying to land a
blow to her head. She grabbed the vamp’s ankle and
pulled hard, tugging his legs out from under him and
brought him to the ground in front of her.
 
"Why do all the wrong vampires keep falling for me?"
 
Buffy rolled forward over the grass beside the
sprawled vamp and stopped when her stake plunged into
his chest. She jumped up and turned to the remaining
vampire. He was hobbling away as fast as his legs and
broken ribs would allow towards a small group of
trees.
 
Buffy threw her stake into his back and watched it
lodge into the trunk of the tree in front of him.
 
Buffy walked over the ground where the last vamp’s
dust rested, retrieved her stake and slipped it into
the pocket of her jacket.
 
Just when I think things couldn’t possibly be any
worse… ho-ho, Life gives Buffy Summers a swift kick in
the ass to set her straight!
 
She put up a nice front and acted like Xander and
Angel doing the no-no cha-cha didn’t phase her when
Willow told her about the counter to the spell put on
Angel, but emotionally she was tearing her hair out by
the roots.
 
I’m going to dust Spike and Drusilla for this! No. I’m
going to nail em’ both to crosses outdoors set up a
lawn chair and video cam, one of those new digital
thingies, and wait for the sun to come up.
 
And I’m gonna watch it every night before I go to bed.
 
"Buffy."
 
Xander was standing behind her, his hands shoved deep
into his coat pockets. Xander tried to smile at her
but his lips couldn’t quite make it happen.
 
"Xander."
 
"You know I could just--"
 
"No, Xander."
 
"You didn’t let me finish!" Xander exclaimed walking
up to the Slayer.
 
"If it’s a choice between you sleeping with Angel, or
killing him to stop him from raping you, I choose the
one where everybody comes out unharmed."
 
"Unharmed. Having sex with Angel will definitely harm
me."
 
"Not if you do it right," Buffy said.
 
"Don’t say things like that! It creeps me out hearing
you say things like that!"
 
"Sorry. Just trying to help," Buffy said walking away.
 
Xander looked at her retreating back and frowned
before trotting to catch up with her. "Okay, I can’t
believe I have to say this, but… I’m not going to boff
your boyfriend."
 
"Why not? Be the end of your problems."
 
"Then I’d end up with a whole host of other problems,
wouldn’t I? The biggest one besides having slept with
a vampire, being that I might lose one of my best
friends. One of my only friends."
 
"Xander… I’m not going to stop being your friend. And
I wouldn’t expect you to go on living under a threat
just to spare my feelings."
 
"How’s Angel going to feel about it?"
 
"I… I think he’s not going to like it. But he wouldn’t
want to hurt you either."
 
"Because we’re bestest buds!"
 
Buffy glared at Xander, "He may not particularly like
you Xander, but he wouldn’t do anything to really harm
you."
 
"A vampire that won’t do anything to really hurt me,
huh? Kind of goes against type."
 
Buffy rolled her eyes. Leave it to Xander to cover
this ground again. "Xander, Angel has a soul. Which
means he has a conscious."
 
"A conscious never stopped real people from doing bad
things, Buffy. And to tell you the truth, I don’t buy
that whole cursed with a soul bit either."
 
"Xander…"
 
"It doesn’t matter anyway," Xander said, "I rather
take my chances. ‘Cause ain’t no way Angel’s getting a
piece a dis!"
 
"Wow, I think he doth protests too much!"
 
"No, I just… Hey!"
 
"Yep, you know what they say: The squeakiest wheel
needs the most greasing."
 
"Wait a minute--"
 
"It’s okay Xander, we’ll all still love you if you
decide you prefer the touch of a man."
 
Xander laughed nervously, "Very funny Buffy. Stop
now."
 
Buffy smirked. "You’re going to sleep with my
boyfriend, I think I have a right to point and mock."
 
"I’m not going to sleep with Angel!"
 
"Why take the chance, Xander?"
 
"How am I supposed to live with myself afterwards? Do
you think I’ll be able to look you, Willow, or Giles
in eye again?"
 
"It’ll be worse if…"
 
"If what?"
 
Buffy stopped and so did Xander, Buffy looked at him.
"Xander, I love you, you know that, right?"
 
"Yeeeah?"
 
"Good. Then the truth is I can forgive you for having
sex with Angel, even be grateful, because you would’ve
done it to set things right at great cost to your
sensibilities. But if you make it so I have to kill
Angel because you hate him and don’t think his life is
worth it, and hate my being with him—no, don’t deny
it—a part of me will never forgive you."
 
Xander and Buffy began walking again in silence
through the cemetery. Xander stared at the grass while
Buffy medially searched the shadows for any demons
that might jump out at them.
 
"What if I’m just afraid?" Xander finally asked.
 
"Then be afraid. I’m not trying to tell you how to
feel or what to do," Buffy turned her head and gave
Xander a small smile, "I’m just telling you how I feel
about this whole sorry mess."
 
They continued traipsing among the tombstones,
wordlessly.
 
"But… sex… with Angel…"
 
"I don’t think it’d be horrible at all," Buffy stared
off into the darkness with a wistful gleam in her
eyes.
 
Xander made a face, "Yeah, yeah, so he’s mildly
attractive. Whatever. But does he have my sparkling
personality or my expansive ability at witty repartee?
He should be delighted to… what the hell am I saying?"
Xander shook his head. "I’m not sleeping with Angel!"
 
"If not, at least do it for the right reasons."
 
"And here I was thinking not being gay was all the
reason I needed."
 
"Okay, look at it this way. Let’s say Angel never gets
out of control, there’s still the original spell to
deal with, and Angel’s going to be around for a long
time. So for the rest of your life he’ll be trying to
woo you with moonlight serenades, candy and flowers on
Valentines Day and love letters year after year,
decade after decade…"
 
"All right, all right!"
 
"So… you’ll think about it?"
 
"I guess," Xander moaned. "Why can’t you be the kind
of girl that thinks, if I can’t have him all to
myself, no one else can have him at all?"
 
Buffy shrugged. "If the counter works, Angel and I
will be together."
 
"It might not be the same," Xander said quietly.
 
"We love each other, that’ll be enough to get us
through."
 
Xander grimaced. "God, and I thought Giles telling me
I had to screw Angel was the most puke worthy thing
I’ve heard today."
 
 
 
 
 
Two days later Xander found himself standing on
Angel’s doorstep rubbing his fingertips over the bite
mark the Dagesse left in Angel’s doorframe. It was
visible from the outside even with the door closed.
The wood was warm from the sun.
 
I don’t want to do this.
 
But I have to.
 
But I really don’t want to.
 
Xander laughed. A month ago, hell, two months ago he
swore he’d do anything to get Angel to stop… anything.
But now…
 
Xander raised his knuckles to knock on the door only
to have the door opened a second before he could.
 
"I heard you laugh," Angel said answering Xander’s
questioning glance.
 
"Oh, yeah?"
 
"You come here to fit me for a vacuum cleaner bag?"
 
"That sounded like sarcasm," Xander smirked, "one
might think you don’t love me anymore."
 
"Giles wanted me to back off, so I am," Angel replied
with no intonation in his voice whatsoever.
 
"Really? Can I come in? Promise I don’t have a sword."
 
Angel stepped aside and let Xander pass.
 
"What’s the stake for?" Angel asked.
 
"I said no sword."
 
"Right."
 
"Cozy," Xander commented as he looked over the
apartment.
 
"Thank you."
 
"You cleaned up the blood," Xander said.
 
"Why are you here?"
 
Xander turned and faced Angel. The vampire hadn’t
moved away from the door after closing it. Angel hands
were behind his back and he was standing as still as
the corpse he was, watching Xander.
 
"You’re not going to offer me a drink?"
 
"Don’t have anything you’d like."
 
"Oh… right. You went back to wearing black, I see."
 
"You ruined my only white shirt and blue jeans."
 
"Sorry. You want to have sex?"
 
"Excuse me?"
 
"Do you wanna have sex with me?"
 
"Well… I … Uh… well…"
 
"You silver tongued devil. I can see why all the girls
fall for you," Xander drawled. He turned away from
Angel and rounded a corner into the bedroom area and
sat on a bed that looked too small for Angel.
 
"You take that whole contrition thing pretty serious,
Angel. This mattress doesn’t look like it’s very comfy
for ya. It’ll have to do, I guess."
 
Angel poked his head around the corner, his eyes
widening when he saw Xander on the bed.
 
"Come on, Angel, I’m not the one who bites," Xander
said patting the space on the mattress beside him.
 
"But… b-but--"
 
"That’s right, as soon as we get our clothes off."
 
Angel stepped into full view. "Why are you doing this
to me?"
 
"Doing what?"
 
"Playing on my feelings for you?"
 
"I’m not playing you, Angel."
 
"Then why the act? Are you trying to get me to lay
down so staking me will be easier?"
 
Xander grinned, "I don’t know where this lack of trust
comes from."
 
Angel crossed his arms over his chest, not amused.
 
Xander heaved in a deep breath and reached behind his
back and pulled the stake out from his waistband then
threw it passed Angel into the living room area.
"Satisfied?"
 
"Don’t do this."
 
"God! Don’t do what?"
 
"Get my hopes up that you really want me."
 
"Okay, let’s get this straight, ha, right off to bat:
I don’t want you. The only reason I’m offering is to
break the spell put on you so I get my life back and
you get to be your regular cradle robbing self for
Buffy."
 
"Now I know you aren’t being honest. You’re saying I’m
not really in love with you like you always do, which
means you’re trying to fool me again."
 
Xander threw his head back and let out a frustrated
shout.
 
"Xander, I do want to be with you, and I long for the
day when you’ll sincerely want to be in my bed. But if
you keep toying with my heart…"
 
Xander slowly stood up from the bed and walked up to
Angel. He looked down, grimaced, then looked up again,
then down and shook his head. When he brought his face
up again, Xander leaned forward and pressed his lips
against Angel’s. Angel remained inert as Xander kissed
him, his mouth stiff and unresponsive.
 
I’m kissing a guy. I’m… kissing… a… guy. I’m kissing
Angel. I can’t do this!
 
No, it has to be today! Don’t know if I can work my
courage up like this again! Xander resolved in his
head and kept pressing himself into the other man.
 
Angel moaned and curled his arms about Xander’s waist.
He knew it wouldn’t take Angel long, the spell was too
compelling. Xander reluctantly parted his lips and
allowed the vampire to slip his tongue into his mouth.
 
 
Encouraged, Angel moved his hands down to Xander’s
buttocks and squeezed them gently.
 
Whoa, watch the hands pal! Xander reached behind him
and brought Angel’s hands back up to his waist. Angel
pulled back. "You’ve finally admitted it."
 
Xander nodded and pasted a nice big fake smile across
his face. "Sure have. Let’s take this to the bed."
 
Angel shook his head, "No."
 
"Angel… sweety… what do you mean, no?"
 
"We can’t make love yet," Angel said grinning down at
Xander.
 
"Huh?"
 
"No, of course not! I’ve been waiting so long for you
to accept my love for you I think we should do this
right."
 
"Again… huh?"
 
"I think we need to date first."
 
"What?" Xander asked sharply.
 
"Yes! It’ll be so much better if we build a solid
foundation for our relationship first. I want to take
you out to romantic dinners, to all the movies you
want to see and spend whole nights just talking--"
Angel raised his eyebrows, "Have you ever been to
Paris? We can take a romantic trip to Paris!"
 
"But Angel, dear, we’re already so deeply in love, do
we need to prove it by… dating? Can’t we just take
this to the next level already?"
 
Angel laughed as he grabbed either side of Xander’s
waist, lifted him off the ground and began twirling
around.
 
"No, that can wait. I want us perfect," Angel said.
 
Xander lips tightened into a thin line and he narrowed
his eyes at Angel as they spun about.
 
"Put me down, you idiot!"
 
"Why?"
 
"Just put me down!"
 
"All right."
 
The moment his feet touched the floor Xander stomped
over to the door.
 
"Xander, where are you going?"
 
Xander walked outside and slammed the door. He stood
there for a full minute breathing heavily. Then he
started pacing back and forth in front of Angel’s
apartment, muttering obscenities.
 
Xander stopped, turned his face up to the sky and…
 
"Crap!"
 
 
 
 
 
THE END

AUTHORS INDEX