SCRIBES OF ANGEL
FanFic
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Everything
you want by Gem Spoilers:
Up through "Hush." I've projected about two months beyond it, and
assumed Buffy and Riley did actually talk eventually. Disclaimer:
Characters are not mine (duh!) - all Joss's. The lyrics are from a song
called "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon. When I first
heard it, it made me think of Riley. And it better continue to do so, or the
aforementioned Joss is going to have some 'splainin to do.
Buffy
watched herself in the mirror with quiet satisfaction as she brushed her long
blonde hair. Her dress clung in all the right places, her nails were polished
and unbroken for a change, her make-up was subtle but flattering, and she was
definitely having a good hair day. She looked just like an eighteen-year-old
girl should look going out to a party with the perfect guy. Except
she needed a bracelet. She
started rummaging through the debris on top of her dresser, searching for the
perfect accessory to wear with the perfect dress and the perfect hair and the
perfect guy. "Hey,
Buffy," her roommate called out as she came in the room. "Hey,
Will." Buffy stopped her search long enough to flash a brief smile at
her best buddy, Willow. "Coven meeting tonight?" Willow
nodded as she began her own search, trying to find the book of spells she
bought last week. "You look really nice. Going out with Riley?" "Yeah.
Fraternity party. Should be fun." Buffy was distracted by her image in the
mirror again when she noticed a loose thread on the hem of her dress.
Unfortunately pulling it out slightly mussed her hair, forcing her to resume
brushing. "I
can't believe your hair is so long now," Willow said without a trace of
envy. "It's like we've changed places. Hairwise, I mean. You know, long
and short." She pulled at one of her own abbreviated locks to
illustrate. "I
get it, Will. Actually, I used to have long hair in my pre-Slayer days."
Buffy's arm fell to her side as she contemplated herself in a new light. Her
parents would never have let her wear a dress this daring at 15, but she
suddenly noticed some remarkable similarities to LA Buffy, the one she
thought she'd left behind. Shallow self-centered Buffy that she wanted to
forget. The one she used to think of as normal. Somewhere
there's speaking "It's
funny," she murmured, more to herself than to Willow. "I never
realized how much..." "Aha!
Found it!" Willow triumphantly held her book aloft, before tossing it on
her bed while she searched for her favorite highlighter. "Hey, you know
it's good you're seeing so much of Riley. It's nice to see you happy again. I
mean, you're not over the moon happy any more, but nice, normal everyday
happy is good too. And I think it's all because of Riley." "Hmm?
Riley?" Buffy was momentarily confused, but forced herself to recall the
trail of the conversation. "Yeah, he's great. Perfect, even." She
resumed her search for the bracelet worthy of such a paragon. "He's
tall, and kind of cute, and smart," Willow enthused, waving her best
pink highlighter for emphasis. "And, okay, there's that whole demon-torturing
Initiative thing, but that doesn't necessarily make him a bad person. And
he's human, that's a plus." "Especially
to Mom," Buffy said dryly. "You should have seen her giving him the
two-handed handshake the first time she met him." The look of confusion
on Willow's face forced her elaborate. "You know, one hand in his and
one hand holding his wrist to discreetly check for a pulse." She
abandoned her survey of the top of the dresser and began working her way
through the top drawer. "Gotcha.
Well, he passed." Buffy's
traitorous memory brought forth the image of one who would not have passed.
The one who didn't pass any "mom" tests. "Yup.
With flying colors." She pushed away the memories with a determination
born of months of practice. He was of the past, in more ways than one, and
the past was not what she was about. She was a today kind of girl. Suddenly
her fingers encountered a small flat box. Willow
finished packing her books and pens in her backpack and slung it over one
shoulder. "I'm off. Have fun tonight!" She opened the door without
noticing Buffy's lack of response. "Oh, hi Riley. Come on in." Buffy
didn't hear a word Willow said. She stared at the jewelry box in her hand,
fighting the urge to open it. She knew what was inside, and she knew it would
drag her back to the past she was trying so hard to...get past. If she opened
this box she would jeopardize everything she'd worked for since graduation.
If she put the box away unopened she would know she had won. But
under the skinned knees and the skid marks She
opened the box slowly. The
antique silver cross glowed softly in the lamplight. It was beautiful, and
elegant in its simplicity, and it had saved her life on more than one
occasion. The same could be said for the man who gave it to her. Angel.
Buffy
ran a trembling finger down the cross as she succumbed to the onslaught of
memories. She still remembered every single moment that she spent with him
there hadn't been enough. Life with Angel was always tumultuous, and subject
to frequent interruptions. Every time some demon enforced a separation it
created a swamping fear for his safety, and broke her heart just a little
more. To
be fair, she had to admit Riley was a dependable and constant presence in her
life. His rare absences were always school-related, and never a cause for
concern. Angel
always reminded her of moonlight, and not just because that was his time of
day. The mystery, the romance, and yes, the secrets that were hidden in the
shadows, all made her think of him. He would never lie to her, but there was
so much left unsaid. It made him all the more bewitching, and exciting, and
so potentially hazardous to her well being. High
noon on a prairie on a sunny day best described Riley. After revealing the
whole Initiative thing (about which she still had mixed emotions), there had
been no more holding back on Riley's part. She knew everything he felt, everything
he wanted, every childhood memory. All in excruciating detail. Life
with Angel had been a rollercoaster. Breathtaking highs and earth shattering
lows, but she had never felt more alive. Or so safe. For all the dangers she
knew Angel posed, and they were numerous, his arms were the one place in the
world she felt safe. Humanity depended on her to protect them, but she never
realized until he was gone how she had depended on him to cover her back. And
when he held her close, somehow the bad stuff disappeared for just a little
while, long enough for her to regroup. Riley
was more of a carousel-man. The highs and lows of their romance were
relatively minor it was predictable and safe. Yet he never made her feel
safe. Unless he had his arsenal, and sometimes even then, he was just another
ass she had to save. She
would always remember the look of anguish in Angel's eyes when she broke up
with him after their first kiss, before they even had their first date.
Riley, by contrast, looked a little bewildered and faintly hurt when she
dumped him after their first date with the intention of marrying Spike. Angel
knew her inside and out, better than she knew herself some times. Riley knew
very little about her, other than vital statistics, and she was content to
keep it that way. In
the end, none of that really mattered anyway. Bottom
line: Angel was a young girl's fantasy. The tall, dark, mysterious stranger.
The older man. The bad boy turned good for the love of a woman. The one who
would love her completely, so much that he would give up his life for her.
The one she let walk away through pride and fear. He was a dream come true
turned the impossible dream. Riley
was a lucky Slayer’s dream walking. He would get a good job, buy a nice house
and make an excellent father. He would mow the lawn on Saturday mornings and
carve the Thanksgiving turkey and always say the right thing to, and about,
her mother. He would never leave. He
was stable and responsible. Friendly and outgoing. Confident and comfortable with
his choices in life. Intelligent.
Forthright.
Kind
to children and small animals. "Hi
Buffy." Standing
right behind her. Buffy
snapped the lid closed on the jewelry box and tossed it in the drawer in one
swift motion. She slammed the drawer shut as she spun around to face Riley,
her mind already working on a good line of defense. "Riley,
you're," she glanced at her watch, "fifteen minutes late. Which, in
girl-time, means right on time. Of course you are." The
only time Riley had on his mind was the good five minutes he'd been standing
in the doorway before he approached Buffy. She seemed to have been oblivious
to his presence until he spoke to her. She had been completely absorbed in
studying whatever was in that little box she'd just hidden away. "What
was in the box?" Buffy
smiled brightly. "What box?" She slipped one hand under his arm and
grabbed her shawl off a chair with the other. "Come on, we're going to
be more than fashionably late if we don't get a move on." He
still wanted to know about the box, but she didn't give him a chance to get a
word in edgewise. All during the long walk across campus to his fraternity
house she chattered about classes and parties and various other
college-related subjects. While she talked too fast and laughed too loudly,
Riley relived a scene from a night at the Bronze a few weeks ago. He'd
come back from Christmas break a few days early, both because of Buffy and
because of the Initiative. One night he and Buffy had gone to the Bronze to
dance before her nightly patrol. They'd been having a good time until she had
a chance encounter with an old boyfriend, a guy by the name of Scott Hope. It
was an awkward situation, but they both seemed to be dealing with it all
right, up to the moment Buffy introduced Riley as her boyfriend. Scott
suddenly looked at him with, well, the only thing Riley could think of was
pity. Conversation quickly lagged, and Scott made an excuse to leave. As he
walked past Riley, he laid a hand on his shoulder and leaned over to speak softly
in his ear. "I’d
wish you luck, but it wouldn’t help." Looking
down at the blonde head next to that same shoulder, Riley felt his unease
growing. They hadn't been dating for long, but he already loved her so much.
They battled evil every single night, and yet she never showed any signs of
fatigue or despair. She lived life to the fullest, and she was determined to
get the most out of the college experience. Admittedly she preferred the
non-academic side of it, but since he always thought of himself as too
serious he felt they complimented each other perfectly. She
didn't trust him, though. He thought that the secrets were over when he
learned about her job as the Slayer, and she learned about the Initiative.
From here on out, they were a team unshakable and inviolable. Whatever they
didn't know about each other, they would learn. But
whatever was in that box meant more to her than the trust between them. It
was part of the past she still wouldn't talk about. When she shared plans for
the future with him, they were vague at best, and never concerned her
personal life. He suddenly realized he'd seen her laugh a hundred times, but
when she cried, she cried alone. He
loved her, but he wondered if he would ever really know her. If she would
ever want him to. I am everything you want
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